I am going to start being more public with my thoughts and where I am taking my life. This post is a stream of consciousness, so do not expect it to be the quality of my polished writings.

I am in a phase of realizing that my identity that I have had my entire life is not conducive to the life that I am foreseeing for myself. And as my vision changed, it forced me to reconcile with my own insecurities – judgements of others – that I had w.r.t. spiritual people, spiritual seekers, energy healers. I wasn’t a spiritual person until about 5 years ago. Before that, I was hardcore atheist. All that was real what what I could see in this 3D world.

Going from a seemingly good career trajectory in blockchain/PM/consulting to quitting my job and going absolutely all-in on finding spiritual fulfillment and alignment. When I quit, I told my coworkers in the exit email that I was going to enter the industry of psychedelics.

Learning how to actually not care what people think, or at the least not to have their assumed perceptions of me ruling over me. Coming out of the spiritual closet. Sharing what I’ve learned so far – experientially – through psychedelics; learning from [long list here!] medicine workers, shamans, fellow spiritual seekers TBD], in vipassana 10-day silent meditation, 2 weeks in the Peruvian Amazon at a Shipibo center for Ayahuasca, and beginning my ability to perform (quantum) energy healing on myself. I say it because I want to be able to talk freely about these things in the future and have to explain a bunch of separate times to my closer contacts. A part of me is still in disbelief that this is my new reality. That, to me, entirely separate and devoid of what other people think or needing their validation into my experience, I am interacting with a quantum field.

Overcoming a need to “be right.” Allowing myself to discuss topics that may cause stirs.

Now my focus is:

• 9 month somatic channeling practitioner training – with a mentor I met in Denver who was presenting at the MAPS Psychedelic Science convention.
• New Earth Leadership program – with a spiritual mentor and channel that I met in Cambodia.
• Studying Portuguese

I am so nervous to write this.

• Starting or co-creating an art movement dedicated to changing society/culture around what it means to have a community center and improve the emotional body intelligence of all through gatherings, classes, workshops, connection, etc. Basically a hub. Roam.
  • Art movement name:
  • Community hub name:
  • Activist name:
  • Radical redefining of what we perceive as normal social interaction in nightlife

I have been way too consumed into the 2024 Presidential Election. I am worried about the future of the U.S. (including the withstanding of democracy as we know it). It is a sad state of affairs to have so many of those who’d disagree receiving an entirely different set of information. Two separate worlds. The division needs to end. What do I see as a solution to fixing society? Re-read the above about the art movement. The world is in need of stronger community and I keep feeling like I am being called to be one of the people who builds that future.

I feel it is naturally a sense of activism. To say, a better experience is possible. That I can go out with my friends and make deep connection with people because we have all learned, perhaps just through what we learned at the hub (but also as opt-ins to the movement), how to remain centered in conversation enough that connections can penetrate (word choice?) beyond surface level.

I observe that I may still appear a bit like “matter of fact” in my tone and style. Wait, why am I apologizing for myself?

I just want to reproduce some of the vibes I’ve experienced at music festivals where the profundity of the present moment was made possible by the depth of presence of the people I met; presence-deepening psychedelics involved. I believe creating similar interactions would serve as medicine in their healing power, just like it did for me.

And that my spiritual journey has naturally led to a deepening and evolving sexuality and gender identity. What a blessing it has been to learn more about these within the context of sacred ceremonies.

At this point, I am expecting some people to leave my life. Too witchy or woo woo for them. I hope I am happily surprised, like when I came out as gay and didn’t lose any friends. Though I am imagining that the mystical arts are more taboo than being gay is these days. I am still working through trauma from my childhood about being gay: a programming deep within that believes I may be in physical danger if I express my queer self authentically. I am aware that the people whose words hurt me probably do not realize that damage was done; nonetheless – to quote an important book’s title in the somatic therapy space – The Body Keeps The Score. The belief of not feeling safe, learned at a young age, is a block in the first two chakras: the first (root) having to do with safety, and the second (sacral) having to do with the essence of sexuality.

I am so nervous and worried I will be perceived in a negative light. Even writing this. Placing so much weight on what others think, that I felt I could not stay centered. That my sense of safety relies on “their” acceptance of me. Does this have to do with thinking I might get thrown out of the house for being gay?

Realizing the out-of-this world profundity of the knowledge of the Amazonian tribes have preserved despite the brutalist persecution, murder, colonization from the religious Europeans. The period of darkness is coming to an end, thanks in part to the wisdom keepers. I am not (yet?) open to talk much about my experience with Ayahuasca – though I will say it was the privilege of a lifetime to witness those from indigenous tribes in ceremony.

It would be a privilege to work with / hear from (privilege TBU) indigenous wisdom keepers as I build out the art movement and community hub concept. But also in a way that is more supportive of indigenous exchange program (is that something they would want?), e.g. sponsor some indigenous folks to travel to hub locations and share wisdom. To be able to work together somehow makes me happy-scream inside. I’ll have to think about that.

I was recently learning about the concept of a trustless DAO through a friend I made here in Itacaré, Brasil recently. The organization is called TrueSight DAO. They are prototyping an organizational structure that operates with full self-autonomy. I can’t help but think there is a glaring connection here between organizational structure innovation (e.g. trustlessness) and inviting the tribes to participate.

CREATE A FORMAT FOR HUNI KUIN TRIBE TO RUN THEIR OWN RETREATS AND KEEP THE PROFITS?! Centers that assist the tribes with DAO organizational structure education. Plugging tribes into GameB. Am I thinking way too mentally about this?

To be able to speak fluent with them in Portuguese and (improved) Spanish would be amazing.